You know it's one of those days when...

It’s one of those days, those thinking days. You know when everything gets to you and there's no escape. I really feel directionless at the moment. Well, I guess that seems to be the theme of my life, constantly waiting for something to happen; rotting away slowly. The long corridor, white-washed and plain; running but getting nowhere. Some people get everything, others nothing. Some just constantly lose everything and everyone.

It's funny how life works out. You can go out with one person and everyone will love you; go out with another and you're public enemy number one, seemingly the worst thing to have ever happened to them. I mean I should feel happy, I have most things I need; but what good is that if you hate yourself? I should be used to people disliking me by now, I mean it happens all the time, but for someone who just wants to be left alone, it kind of gets to me a bit when people starts having personal opinions about you. I got told today that I 'have a strong image, it really suits you, but it's an issue. Clients will be offended and complain.' F* off.

Seriously though, what the f* is the meaning of my life? Why the hell am I here? I used to think I knew, but now I have no f*ing clue. I'm just scrambling around in the dark. I guess I'm kind of lost right now, and that's something I thought I'd never hear myself say. I don’t know, it's like I've done what I was meant to and that I'm not meant to be here, that there's nothing else for me but to roll forward with nothing. I feel tired, seriously tired. Oh well, I guess it's just another one of those days...